Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Please Mr. Lauren
I stumbled upon this hideous imposter while browsing E-Bay for a shooting vest for my son. I had taken him to a Tower Shoot on Sunday and the vest he used was adequate but he handled himself so well with the Browning Gold .20 Ga. that I decided he needed a better shooting rig.
So, back to this Ralph Lauren abomination...first, it sports a price tag north of $1900.00. Absurdly over-priced. One could fully outfit 2 hunters for a pheasant trip to North Dakota for that amount. Second,it displays erroneous Texas Rifle Association patches; patches that would lead one to conclude that the wearer won some sort of shooting competition. Third, in terms of functionality, the patches are on the right side, so if a shooter was right handed , the patch at the top could easily interfere with a smooth mount...and the shooting pad on the shoulder is too small to facilitate smooth mount as well. The large contrast material flap pockets are idiotic as they hinder easy access to fresh shells. The collar is too big as it would get in the way of one's cheek seating flush on the stock of the raised gun...I could go on...but you get the idea.
One can only imagine this garment draped over some Greenwich hedge fund wanker as he gets out of his Range Rover...a vehicle that has never had tires touch mud...and grass only once at a tailgate at Deerfield when Junior was 2nd string on the Football team. Said wanker would mince about posing as a shooter...when he does not know the difference between high brass No. 6's and a target load or a Purdey from a Ruger. A poser that grew up in New Rochelle and never discharged anything other than a BB gun or an employee from whom he was going to steal credit for a deal. The patches claiming success in some faux competition on some fictional range are a tantamount to a green Private wearing a Combat Infantry Badge when he never left Fort Dix. Well, maybe not that extreme( Tin Tin might think so?)...but lame nonetheless.
But that is Ralph's thing...faux crests from Clubs that do not exist glued on Blazers worn by some putz that fancies himself sporting the badge of the Cold Stream Guards or the First City Troop....or perhaps some Yacht Club...fake Polo Jerseys and spurious rugby team wear and other forms of costumery for the striving and the climbers and the posers.
So, Ralph, please stick to your Khakis and Oxfords and sweaters and pimping school boy blazers to WASP 101 and his lot. Leave the field wear to L.L. Bean and Cabela's and Filson and Beretta. They know what they are doing and when it comes to this genre...you clearly do not.