Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Football in Philadelphia









Football arrives this weekend here in the Quaker City. Yeah, a city founded on Quaker principles, you know non-violence and self introspective religious services and religious tolerance. However,that Quaker tradition has eroded and we are currently known as a Sports city of fans that pelt Santa with snowballs, riot in the stands as often as the worst U.K. hooligans, cheer serious injury to opposing players,vomit in the seats and God save the poor bastard who shows up on game day sporting the other teams jersey. Likely you have heard myriad tales of abuse meted out by beer swilling cretins in Eagles Green...the type of louts that show up for a 4 p.m. game at 7 a.m. to start "tailgating" and are completely shit-hammered drunk by kick off. The same clowns who believe a $225.00 Eagles Jersey is proper clothing for a 50 year old man on a 20 dgeree December Sunday....despite the fact that they do not have $ 30.00 for new shoes for their kid.
Well, my ranting is not the point of this post. What we Eagles fans are facing...knuckle- walkers and refined Sportsmen alike, is the X factor of a new quarterback at the helm of the offense. Our new QB, Kevin Kolb is pictured above. Can he lead an offense in the much harder NFC East to anything like a play-off season? Or are we destined for a 8-8 Season of mediocrity and A.M. radio call in show whining? Furthermore, the 400lb blockhead pictured above is the Coach of our team. This egotistical wanker cannot coach his own sons...let alone a group of spoiled over-payed prima donna animals. His 2 oldest boys have nice prison and arrest records and one even has a penchant for secreting his illicit pills up his bum. Real heir apparent princes in the making. I never liked Reid....I know.....he has a great record and all. But his record was largely compiled in a period when the rest of the NFC East really sucked. The guy cannot manage a clock and cannot coach the game in font of him...he is slavishly fixated on coaching a game from that laminated Denny's menu he keeps parked in front of his mouth- breathing and slobbery pie hole.He bungled the Superbowl and I think we should have shipped him out with McNabb..that is another story.
So, I'll be cheering for the Birds as will the football fandom of the Delaware Valley...but I am not very confident.
I did sneak in a picture above of a Lehigh Football player. Lehigh is playing Villanova this weekend and I will be at the game with the wife and kids. My daughter is a Senior in High School this year and Lehigh hosts a "legacy" recruiting day in the Fall.This Saturday is that recruiting day. My daughter will get a speech and a tour and some inside dope on Lehigh admissions and then we all go to the game. She has already been to Campus and to Lehigh v. Lafayette Football games since she was an infant. She would like to go to her old man's Alma Mater but is worried about getting in....Lehigh is pretty big on Alumni and legacies...but we'll see. I told her get into the best school she can that she wants to attend and let me worry about the rest. This whole College application thing is a subject for another post entirely.
Lastly, the pictures feature a Fellowes print of a well dressed spectator at the grid-iron stadium...suffice it to say you'll not see an Eagles philistine so attired...and only facsimiles thereof at the Lehigh game.
In closing, for those into the 1AA college football scene...you know, the schools that actually field scholar-athletes...(well many of 'em anyway)...Villanova is highly ranked nationally and won the FCS National Championship last year. If my beloved Engineers(M-Hawks) of Lehigh can beat them it would be huge!! I also loath Villanova as I grew up about 3 miles from their campus and learned to despise their Jesuit manner and "Gowny" attitude toward "Townies" that were generally their socioeconomic and intellectual superiors.....and they always pissed in the parking lot outside our favorite pizza joint on Lancaster ave. so you got a whiff of their stale undergrad urine when you picked up a pie.

17 comments:

James said...

Come on MLS don't hold back tell us how you really feel! A very funny post, I really enjoyed it.

K.S. Anthony said...

Pure hilarity: you've really captured the urine-rich essence of Football season in Philadelphia.

Anonymous said...

You mean Vanillanova.

brohammas said...

Hmmm. No one in my part of Philly sports Villanova stickers on their rides. But they all have Little Flower stickers on their work trucks.

Reed suffers from the school wherin he did his collegiate coaching. Had he the manhood to coach at a fine institution like my alma mater, I would cut him some slack. Like the slack the Eagles cut for my man white lightning.

My two year old can sing the Eagles fight song and I'm not even a native.

M.Lane said...

I am an old Wisconsin boy so you know what I say. No way you beat my Packers with even a good Kolb at the helm. If I'm wrong I'll buy drinks at the Whitemarsh Valley Inn next January when I make my pilgrimage...

ML
mlanesepic.blogspot.com

Main Line Sportsman said...

Bro-No connection between the Phila Football title on this post and the Lehigh v. Villanova game...just an aside on the football issue.
What is your Alma Mater? Loved your sneaker on the wire post by the way.

Mlane-I suspect you are right for this week's match-up against those cheeseheads. Either way I'll meet you for a drink.
James, Glad you enjoyed
KS Legion, the compliment of 'Hilarity" from a writer of your talent is praise indeed.

brohammas said...

The BCS busting, PAC-10 joining, University of Utah.

And thank you about the shoes on the wire.

Beth Dunn said...

So excited to see what this season brings
xoxo
SC

brandon sargent said...

Thanks for the heads up of the discussion on TheTrad. I'll definitely contribute my opinion.

Jay said...

I'm hoping Kolb has a pretty good season. Not because I'm a big Eagles fan, but because he's my QB on one of my fantasy teams. ;-)

The Enthusiast said...

Being a Philly phan, I was sort of sad when I heard we had traded McNabb. I was 9 when he was drafted and I only remember a year or two of Detmer and quarterbacks previous to McNabb. But in the end, McNabb wouldn't be taking us to the Superbowl during the rest of his career. Here's to new starts.

JMW said...

Is that the stadium that had a jail within the facility to deal with the unruly fans? My Hubby is a Steelers fan and my college roomie and close friend was a transfer from Lafayette - does this mean I can still visit your blog? :)

Main Line Sportsman said...

JMW-Yes Ma'am...We had Eagles Court on game day with a Judge and jail in the basement of the old stadium...amazing huh?
I enjoy the Steelers for their tradition but only cheer for them in the Superbowl or playoffs 'cause they are from Penna.
A "transfer" from Lafayette could not have tainted you too much. You are a most welcome visitor....

tintin said...

Whatever happened to Frank's Cream Soda?

Main Line Sportsman said...

OK Tin-man....I am not taking up that challenge. I'll post comment on your Friday Belt as to why.

Main Line Sportsman said...

M-Lane-Your prediction and my reluctant suspicion...both correct.
Perhaps my Birds can beat the lowly Lions this Sunday.

Genuine Lustre said...

My husband is a rabid college football fan and I like to watch the "Vintage Big 10 Channel" with him for no other reason than to admire what the folks on the sidelines were wearing thirty years ago.