I attended a Phillie's game this Saturday afternoon with my wife and another couple. We had good seats, it was a sunny day and all seemed right in the world.
As I went to fetch beers for the group I noticed a wedding party down on the sidewalk outside The Park. I stopped to watch as they took pictures...doesn't every guy stop to take a gander at the Bride?
I wish I had not. The wedding party was large...8 Bridesmaids and 8 groomsmen. They all wore Black. It was about 4:15 in the afternoon and the men were wearing Dinner Jackets...Evening Clothes are NOT to be worn in the daytime according to all conventional rules of etiquette.But let us forgo that criticism for the moment. Furthermore, whatever rental outfit had dressed these poor guys should be should be shuttered and fined. There was not a proper sleeve or trouser length among the men.We're not talking just a bit off...we're talking it looked like a crew of 2nd grade kids wearing their Dad's Tuxedos.
What was really apalling came as the men assembled for a picture. When the Photographer had them all posed just so...one of these boorish louts turned his head and launched a 2 quart gob of spit into the bushes. Not to be upstaged, another of the elegant groomsmen reared back, and with a Herculean effort, expectorated an equally vile volume of snot and saliva...this time onto the pavement. Several people were watching this display and were all similarly repulsed. One can scarcely imagine what substances came shooting out of these guys once they got to the reception and started boozing.It just goes to show you.....
See, it's like this: if you act like a teenager, then you must be one, but like way cool, and tough, right? And the coach might see you and want to, like, put you in, right? Or, or, or, like, the band might be goin' by and, like, see how cool you are, and take you on the road, right? But you're not a wimp in a tie, that's not, like, way cool, right? And you're like, way cool, right?
ReplyDeleteThere are so many excellent alternatives to the folly of wearing dinner jackets in the daytime: linen, seersucker...the list goes on.
ReplyDeleteI have to give a nod to Philadelphia, as it was the original home of my beloved Oakland Athletics...who remind me every year that baseball is about the heartbreak that follows true love.
Oh, and as for the malignant behavior...that is why I always carry a horsewhip.
ReplyDeleteReally really bad, I hope the bride knows what she is doing....maybe not!
ReplyDeleteKarena
Art by Karena